The Anime Fanfiction University
by Shaun Garin
Summary: In the wake of horrendous Anime Fanfiction, AFU was born. Now reuploaded. Do not use the review button to sign up for AFU.
1. AFU 01 : Enrollment

The Anime Fanfiction University  
by Shaun Garin  
  
Disclaimer : None of these animes are mine. I swear, really. And yeah, I have spoken with Miss Cam of OFUM fame. I am ALLOWED to write this with her permission. Thank you.  
  
Major Note : When signing up for AFU, please, email the sign up sheet to me at my email address on the top of my account page. F.net might think that this is an interactive fanfic and boot it off. And we don't want that, do we? Otherwise, I might just have to color your account Glowrange.  
  
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"Oogh...."  
  
A head lifted off of a keyboard, the dim light of a half open window streaming into the room. One hand groped for the clock while the other rubbed sleep from his eyes. Peering into the red depths of the alarm clock, she moaned and sat up, yawning.  
  
A sharp, insistent rap on the door roused her sleep addled mind out of it's depths as a voice called out, "Zone! You awake in there?"  
  
The door flew open as an unshaven man stepped into the room. He was tall and lanky with a sharp, angular look to his face. "You look like hell, Zone."  
  
"G'way," she muttered, brushing blonde hair from her face. "How the hell do you stay chipper in the morning, Norris?"  
  
"You have a key stuck to your cheek," Norris replied, grabbing a nearby pop and chugging it down. "Oh, by the way, you have someone to see you."  
  
"Who, exactly?" Zone asked, flicking the key from her cheek.  
  
"Mozaaaaaaaku!" A meter tall blue... thing, for a lack of a word, waddled out. It seemed to be squinty eyed and held out a letter to Zone who blinked. "Mozaaaaaaa..."  
  
"What the hell is that thing?" Zone exclaimed, scrambling for something to hit it with.  
  
"It looks like a Pokemon," Norris remarked, flipping brown and blonde bangs from his eyes in order to peer at it. "I think it's a Wobbafett."  
  
It then handed another letter to Norris who flipped his own open. "Lets see... what the hell is this? Anime Fanfiction University?"  
  
"That's right," said a man who had appeared in the doorway. He looked like something out of a government conspiracy, with the sunglasses, white starched shirt, black tie and suit. "Call me Agent One. I am here to inform you, Samantha Zonovich, AKA Zone, and Norris Blackthorn, AKA NorrisdaMan, that you two are requested to attend the Anime Fanfiction University."  
  
"Gwa?" Obviously, Zone hadn't woken up fully yet.  
  
"Yes, the Anime Fanfiction University, where you may take courses to sharpen your writing skills, and adhere to canon. Just give the documents to Mozaku when you are done. Oh, and Welcome to AFU."  
  
With that, Agent One vanished in a cloud of sulfuric smoke.  
  
Norris and Zone looked at each other for a good long while, before a look from the blue thing dubbed "Mozaku" prodded them into action.  
  
"Lets see... name, Zone, age, race..." Zone worked busily at the document as Norris was already further down the list. Zone paused at the race as she scribbled down "Half Saiyan."  
  
"Do you fear Tentacled Beasts, Yes/No." He hastily scribbled down a circle around no, going to the next few lines, his face scrunching up in confusion. "Who the hell wrote this thing?"  
  
"Clubs.... what are you signing up for?" Zone asked, twiddling a pencil around her fingers.  
  
"The Art of Anvils," Norris said. "You?"  
  
"Probably Target Practice."  
  
After a few minutes of furious writing under the sharp eyed, yet squinty gaze, they finally handed it to Mozaku who promptly vanished in a cloud of sulfuric dust. Coughing, Norris shook his head. "Boy, that was weird."  
  
"Too weird," Zone agreed, dragging herself to the bed. "I'm going back to sleep. G'night."  
  
Norris closed the door behind him as Zone fell into a blissful slumber.  
  
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Authors notes : YES, YES, YES, for the thousandth time, yes, I am allowed to write this fanfiction. So don't bug me about it, or complain to Miss Cam. She already knows. 


	2. AFU 02 : Students Everywhere!

Anime Fanfiction University  
by Shaun Garin  
  
Disclaimer : AFU belongs to me. The characters themselves don't belong to me in contrast. Anyone who says I'm ripping off Miss Cam's OFUM will be fed to Mozaku the Wobbafett. And whoever complains about the Urple, I'm getting a shipment of Glowrange in.  
  
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Zone opened her eyes to the sound of people talking. Loudly. Very loudly. Squinting at the bright sunlight, she sat upright in the chair she had somehow wound up in. "What the hell is going on here?"  
  
"Oh, you've finally woke up." Zone looked to the right at a petite young girl in flashy red and orange, her hair a carrot red color.  
  
Zone blinked once. "Lina Inverse?"  
  
"That's my name, don't wear it out." Lina handed her a package. "Here's your course schedule, ID card and map of the school. Just head down the hallway to the main auditorium."  
  
Zone took it, her mind spinning as she opened up the package. "Evil Villainy 101 by Vegeta, Prince of Saiyans, Combat in Anime 101 by Heero Yuy?" Zone felt her knees weaken as she read off some of the names of her favorite anime characters.  
  
The auditorium was large and packed with people of all shapes and sizes. People ranging from simple school girls in fukus to spiky haired boys and girls with tails. Looking up at the people who sat at the front of the auditorium, she gaped in open mouthed shock.  
  
A virtual plethora of her favorite anime characters sat there, the ever so yummy Heero and Duo, Vegeta, her favorite bad guy from Dragonball Z. She whimpered as her gaze fell on Yamato of Digimon 02. "Yama-sama," she whimpered lustfully, sinking down into a nearby chair.  
  
"He has that effect on lots of people," remarked a girl next to her. "Hey, I'm Leena, Serge'sLove."  
  
"Samantha, but you can call me Zone." Zone said weakly. "What's going on here?"  
  
"Didn't you read the enrollment form?" Leena asked curiously. "I thought everyone knew what was going on, considering the recent rashes of people going to the other universities."  
  
"Other universities?" Zone asked, looking at Leena.  
  
Leena nodded, tossing her red hair behind her and adjusting the frying pan she wore strapped to her back. "Yeah, they say," and at this, her voice dropped to a whisper, "that one of the Professors who built this place went to MUSM. And he's EVIL."  
"I heard," another girl said next to her, "That he was the first to paint Urple on Morgoth's backside during a lecture, and get away with it!"  
  
"They say he has no fear of Miss Cam too," a third, a stout boy said, wringing his hands nervously. "And they're actually friends."  
  
Zone swallowed hard as a round of applause drowned out her reply. Onto the stage stepped a very bishonen man in a red coat. Vash the Stampede.  
  
"Welcome all to The Anime Fanfiction University," Vash said. "You are all here for one purpose; to learn how to write quality anime fanfiction. Each one of you was selected by the Book of Bad Fanfiction, to attend the school."  
  
Many murmured, uncertain of themselves. Most of them believed that they had written excellent fanfiction.  
  
Vash cleared his throat, getting the attention of most people. "I now turn to some of our Professors. First up is Professors Kei and Yuri."  
  
An audible gasp of fear swelled the ranks of the school, for the people who knew Kei and Yuri were known as the Lovely Angels, or by far, The Dirty Pair. The Most Destructive Force in the Universe, two years running.  
  
Kei looked over the students who were chattering nervously as she banged her hand on the platform, making everyone jump. "First off," she said, an edge of disdain in her voice, "Yuri and I will be known as Kei and Yuri, the Lovely Angels or Professors. NOT the Dirty Pair. If you will all respect that, there's no need to blast you people into little bits."  
  
"She'll do it too," Yuri put in.  
  
The Lovely Angels stepping down, Yamato of Digimon 02 and Satoshi of Pocket Monsters stepped up, Yamato clearing his throat. Before he could open his mouth however, several fangirls came rushing down the aisle for a fangirl-tackle, screaming, "Yama-sama, I wuv youuuuuuuu!"  
  
Suddenly, a huge object came crashing down atop them, smashing them flat. It revealed itself to be a giant Snorlax. Satoshi chuckled. "Sorlax is our defense against fangirls, as you can see. Which brings us to our class that we teach; 'Pet Monsters and You 101'. For those of you who want to be trainers or digi-destined or chosen, you will be in this course. Even if you are a digimon all ready, you still have to take it."  
  
"Don't be late or we'll set Katsumi and Nodoko the Pichu and Pikachu on you," Yamato added. "They bite."  
  
Said Pichu and Pikachu grinned menacingly from the sidelines of the stage.  
  
Several other people introduced themselves, ranging from Vegeta and Trunks of Dragonball Z, to Lina Inverse who taught "Mass Destruction 101" in conjunction with the Lovely Angels. Then, for the evil side of the courses, professors such as Miss Washu, who would blow you up for not calling her Little Washu, and the fearsome Piemon who taught Super Villany 201. Other course instructors included Shaun Garin, one of the surviving Urple Bandits of MUSM, who seemed to be nice, but his comments were downright evil.  
  
"In short," Shaun was saying, "Your classes will begin next week. There can be weekend excursions to the outlying city of The City, but keep in mind, you must be on time for your classes. All right? Everyone is assigned a dorm room, and students are not allowed in the Staff Area for any reason, unless accompanied by a professor. All right, I suggest you all get used to the grounds, and be careful. We're built on an excruciatingly high mini-mountain in the middle of The City, and outside the grounds can be treacherous." At this, his expression turned evil. "All right people, get a move on!"  
  
Zone stood up, shaking her head. "Too much information," she muttered, rubbing her head in pain.  
  
"You're telling me," Leena remarked.  
  
Norris ran up behind the pair and slapped Zone on the back. "What did you think of this place?" he asked the pair.  
  
"Where have YOU been, Norris?!" Zone exclaimed, grabbing him around the neck.  
  
"Chill," Norris grunted, trying to remove her hands from his neck. "I was in the front row."  
  
Sighing while letting go, the trio exited the room and looked around. "Strange place," Zone remarked.  
  
"It looks like a mini war zone," Leena said, looking at the random weapons of mass destruction that sat around the fairly large campus. "With some cuteness wrapped in it." She pointed to a bunch of Pokemon that were eyeing the trio, evil glints in their eyes.  
  
"Those are Clones," Lina said from behind them. The group jumped at the petite red head who had snuck up on them. "Whenever you make a name spelling error, you spawn a Clone."  
  
"You're kidding, right?" Zone asked. "Ugh. I need a drink."  
  
Suddenly, an explosion rocked them off their feet. Only Lina stood straight up as she grumbled. "Oh not again." She looked up into the sky as two figures duked it out with high powered pyrotechnics. "Hey, knock it off you two!"  
  
"Who are those two?" Leena asked, looking upwards.  
  
"CellJr and VegetathePrinceofall are at it again, trying to prove who's stronger." Lina grumbled. "Hey, Vegeta! Cell! If you don't come down here, I'm calling Shaun on you!"  
  
Vegeta, not the real one but some author who had put down Saiyan as his race, snorted from way up high. "And what could that puny earthling do to us?"  
  
And quite suddenly, the sky turned Urple as two screams echoed in the air.  
  
Shaun, far down below, sighed happily as the pair collapsed to the ground, shining a brilliant Urple color. "The first Urple Banditry of the year. Pippin and Merry would be proud."  
  
"He IS evil," Zone declared, hiding her eyes from the glare. "No one would use such a terrible color!"  
  
"Move along people, move along," Gourry Gabriev said, shooing the crowd away.  
  
Beware students, AFU's first year has begun... with an Urpling. 


	3. AFU 03 : Zone and the VamdeTree

Anime Fanfiction University  
by Shaun Garin  
  
Disclaimer : AFU belongs to me, derived from Miss Cam's OFUM. Urple will only last the episode as the full shipment of Glowrange comes in as my personal stores are dwindling.  
  
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"Yar!" "YarYar!"  
  
"YarYarYar!"  
  
"Argh matey," Zone growled back at Norris. "Ye be good at pirating."  
  
Leena shook her head in annoyance. "That was pointless. Absolutely pointless."  
  
"What do you want us to do for five more days?" Norris asked. "We're supposed to stay here in the Campus Grounds since the hover bus don't start their run here."  
  
"That is 'does not'," Shaun rumbled from behind the trio. They jumped and spun, paling. The rather short Asian man was carrying a medium sized bucket of Urple and a paintbrush in the other hand. "Start working on your grammar kiddies or I'll be forced to paint your things Urple."  
  
"You can't boss us around!" Zone exclaimed hotly. "I'm a Super Saiyan!" To prove her point, her blonde hair flashed upwards in several spikes.  
  
The professor simply folded his arms. "Morgoth and Sauron were more intimidating." He then grinned evilly as he held up the paint bucket and pried open the lid. An Urple glare flared out, blinding the Super Saiyan, making her drop her transformation. "AUGH! MY EYES! MY EYES!"  
  
"Boy, you sure are evil," Norris said, ditching his sunglasses that he had slipped on to avoid the Urple glare. "Say, ain't Urple a trademark of OFUM?"   
Shaun nodded. "Yeah, I got a few cans of Urple back when in MUSM and never used them all up." His expression turned extremely evil. "I have something better coming anyways. Anyways, keep moving kids, you have your first clubs to sign up for."  
  
"Clubs! All right, Anvils!" Norris rushed off towards the gym where people were milling around.  
  
"Get going or I'll paint you both Urple." Shaun warned, wagging his paintbrush. The girls squeaked and rushed off.  
  
As soon as they had gotten away from the Professor, Leena let out a deep breath. "Ugh, that was bad. I thought he'd actually paint us Urple."  
  
"No one could have been that evil," Zone reasoned. "Oooh, a Tentacle Anime club!"  
  
Leena big sweated as she walked up to the booth run by a girl with very long violet hair and wearing some kind of pale green ninja outfit. Zone was looking over the things, eyes shining in adoration. "Miko Mido!" she was squealing, "Can I have your autograph?"  
  
Miko, on her part looked amused as she signed the paper given to her. "Interested in our club?"  
  
Leena picked up a pamphlet, opened it and shrieked as tentacles tried to grab her from inside it. She slapped it shut, tossing it onto the desk, doing a full body shudder. "Eeew, that was scary. Zone, lets go!"  
  
".... you get to film your own Hentai Anime while in our club. If you'll fill out this disclaimer form stating that no damage to your body will be the responsibility of AFU, and you are doing this on your own will." Miko finished up with Zone who was scribbling down things on a form and turned to Leena who stiffened. "Are you joining up?" "Ew, no way! I don't like tentacle beasts! I mean, eeeeewwww!" She then rounded on Zone who was in the process of finishing up the form with a flourish of her pen. "How can you like this kinda stuff?"  
  
"I just do," Zone reasoned.  
  
Miko sighed. "Oh well, no big loss. There's always someone who signs up." Shen then turned to a few more people who had stopped at the booth. One of the girls had opened up a pamphlet and was being accosted by green tentacles. Leena looked green and looked away, sighing. "I will never write again if only to never return."  
  
"OOOOH! The Overfiend! Can I have your autograph?"  
  
Leena slapped her face and hung her head. "Shoot me. Now."  
  
Meanwhile, across the room, Norris was struggling with a ten ton Anvil, and summarily crushed a foot in the process. He was carted off to the nurses office.  
  
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"Last curry bread of the day!"  
  
Norris leapt up, bounced off of someone's head and grabbed it with a triumphant yell of "I got it!"  
  
"You dare jump on my head?" Exclaimed a young man. He was fanged, bore a blood red bandanna with black marks on it, wearing a similarly styled shirt and something was hidden on the top of his backpack.  
  
Norris looked up and shrugged. He stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth. "Yeah, so?"  
  
"How DARE you!" The young man raged. "I, Hibiki Ryuomi of the Hibiki School of Martial Arts challenges you!"  
  
Norris smirked as he stanced. "Well, I, Norris of the School of Anything Goes Bum Kicking accepts your challenge!"  
  
People milled around the pair of combatants in the cafeteria, muttering and taking bets. Leena groaned as Zone stood up. "Lets go take Norris out of the picture before he does something rash."  
  
Norris waited.  
  
Ryuomi's fingers twitched around the handle of whatever he had hidden there.  
  
A tumbleweed blew by.  
  
And then...  
  
"AUGH! MY EYES, MY EYES!"  
  
People screamed as they were blinded by the horrible, horrible light. Yes, Ryuomi carried the most dangerous Umbrella of all. Twenty Tons of Depleted Uranium, colored a bright Glowrange.  
  
Think of yellow and orange mixed together in the worst possible way, a brilliant neon shine to it.  
  
Yes, that shiver going up your spine is perfectly normal.  
  
Sounds of violence was then heard. A cloud of dust wafted up, obscuring the combatants as people's eyes readjusted to the glow.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a bucket of Urple flew into the cloud and there were two horrible screams. "Ryuomi and Norris!" rang out a very angry voice.  
  
The crowd parted to reveal Shaun looking pissed off, accompanied by Kei and Yuri. "That's enough," he growled. "You two can fight in the yard, NOT in the cafeteria! To boot, you made me use up the last of my Urple!"  
  
A Shaun without Urple paint to do banditry with was a very Upset Shaun.  
  
Kei and Yuri cracked their knuckles as Shaun proceeded to sentence doom on the pair. "For fighting in the cafeteria, making me use up the last of my Urple, disturbing others eating while it is not the designated fighting time for bitter rivals and such, I pronounce sentence!"  
  
People held their breath as Kei and Yuri nodded. "It will be a light sentence, since this is your first offense," Kei said, but her expression was sinister. "Care for the Clones, both of you, attending the first five club meetings of the Kawaiiness Society, and taking care of the Vamde-Tree's needs."  
  
The newly Urple clad Ryuomi and Norris exchanged glances with a shudder.  
  
"I will lead them to the Vamde-Tree," Yuri said, letting the angry professor leave and call Pippin and Merry for more Urple.  
  
"What's the Vamde-Tree?" Ryuomi asked curiously.  
  
"You'll see..."  
  
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"So there I was, sitting at the brink of destroying the world, or at least conquering it when I get sidetracked by these stupid little kids and their pet monsters! It's not fair, you know? I was the most powerful and dangerous Digimon on the face of the planet! No one loves me. I need love, give me a hug!"  
  
Leena edged away from the Vamde-Tree as Yuri shook her head. "We had problems with gathering all of the data from Vamdemon since he was killed several times. And then it got mixed up with some data from the Digital World plants and he became a Tree.  
  
The pitiful looking tree looked down, despite it was wearing a cape. "Can't I get a hug here? I'm so lonely, I haven't seen any of my old friends! Tailmon, where are you? Whaaaaaaa!"  
  
"And you want us to do what, exactly?" Norris asked curiously.  
  
"Help it. The Psych group is being lax and Vamde-Tree has been rather sad lately," Kei said, hiding a chuckle under her gloved hand.  
  
"I guess we can do that. Aww, you're just a sad tree, aren't ya?" Ryuomi mocked. The tree wailed even louder.  
  
"Hey, don't mock the tree!" Zone gushed, hugging it. "You're such an awesome villain, er, tree, yes you are, yes you are!" The tree sweatdropped, as with the rest of them. "Does Vamde-Tree want mommy to prune you, yes you do. Does mommy want to have insane, tentacle..." "AHEM!" Zone jumped back as the Tree sighed in relief. "The point is to council it, not to boink it. It's not part of the curriculum."  
  
"Yeah, and I'm an evil tree, ya know?" the Vamde-Tree exclaimed. "I have rights and feelings too!"  
  
The students exchanged glances. And with the exception of Zone who was cuddling the tree again, gushing on how much she loved him as a villain, they all figured it was poetic justice for Vamde-Tree to have a fangirl.  
  
Somewhere, in a concealed location, Ryo Saeba watched Shaun direct the men on the order. The crates were labeled with a giant yellow Biohazard symbol. "You sure you need all of this?" he asked.  
  
"Of course," Shaun replied with an evil grin. "Not every day your shipment of Glowrange comes in."  
  
And the staff shared an Evil Laugh(TM).  
  
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End Author Notes : Glowrange is mine, all mine! I wouldn't mind it if you pointed out various misspellings of various different names from various different series. Mind you, you need a sence of humor to enroll oneself since we have the Anvil Club in AFU. 


	4. AFU 04 : AFU Evilness

Anime Fanfiction University  
by Shaun Garin  
  
Disclaimer : Urple is not mine. OFUM is not mine. AFU is. All anime isn't. Glowrange is mine to do Glowrange Banditry. Gotta carry on the tradition, eh?  
  
As another reminder, quit using my review button to fill out the forms! Send them all to my EMAIL! Thank you.  
  
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Night came to The City, overcasting AFU in all it's spleandor. The gleaming white towers shone brilliantly in the night sky, the stars twinkling Glowrange (don't ask), and in the middle of it all, the students were unaware of the lurking danger that was the evil half of the staff.  
  
"This meeting of the Evilness Society will come to order."  
  
"I want a burger with fries with that order!" called out a Digimon named Pinnochimon.  
  
"Shut up there!" Growled Frieza. "Lets get this meeting done all ready. Some of us have busy schedules."  
  
The shadowed person, presumptiously in the shadows cleared his throat. "As we all know, the forces of good have all but taken over our jobs as evil people. This simply will ot do. Vamde-Tree has gone over to their side along with Vegeta and Crawford. It is time for us to take our place and run the show with our own ambitions!"  
  
"And how do you suppose we do that?" Kagato asked. "There are many of them and only a handful of us."  
  
"We will subjugate the staff by joining them, under the premise that we have use for their jobs," the shadow said.  
  
"Hmmm... tell us more," Dr. Gero said, leaning forward.  
  
"It is simple. With their trust in us, they will never expect a chance of betrayal! It is so simple!"  
  
"We all have people we want to see ruined," Saffron remarked. "What makes you think that we won't get in each others way?"  
  
"I will see to that," the shadowy person said. "Meeting ajourned. Lets get to our rooms before someone figures out we've been missing for the last few days."  
  
As the night continued its run, a few of the staff members on the side of good sat around a table, looking through enrollment forms. Heero Yuy shook his head. "Well, at least there are very few fangirls this year," he remarked. "Many of them don't know what a Lust Object is."  
  
"I should elaborate that for next year," Satoshi said, flipping through the enrollment forms. "Check this out, Nirumon, a digimon hybrid human."  
"Keep an eye on that one," warned Yamato. "Takuya would want a word with those hybrids."  
  
"This one too," said Sakura Kinomoto, NOT Avalon as she constantly insisted. "At least some of them don't know what Mary Sue and Avatars are."  
  
Everyone shuddered at the thought of the Mary Sue. "We'd need some of the PPC to help us with the situation if a Mary Sue appears on campus." This came from Sakura's familiar, Kero-chan who sat on the table, drinking tea.  
  
"Evil in the most simplistic form," agreed Vegeta who flipped through the forms.  
  
"Gwahahaha! Die XBox!" A resounding smashing sound echoed in the staff section as Shaun hung his head.  
  
"Why did you even hire him?" Lina Inverse asked curiously. "You know he's a psycho." "I wouldn't go that far," Shaun replied. "But he's one of the more demented staff members on campus."  
"So said the man with Glowrange paint sitting next to him," snorted Seto Kaiba. The staff chuckled.  
  
"Hmmm.... someone put down Plot Device as their lust object? I definately think we need to clarify the situation at hand." Tyson grumbled as he flipped to another. "Oi, Heero, how's Duo coming along?"  
  
"Sylphiel said he would be just fine in a few weeks," Heero said as he sipped from his coffee mug. "All those fangirls rushing him en masse wasn't good for his psyche."  
  
"I'm glad I'm too young to have any lusters," Satoshi remarked.  
  
"Well, you do have those horrible lemons written about you," Lina pointed out. "I think everyone has experienced the horribleness known as the Lemon."  
  
Everyone shuddered and bowed their heads for the death of sensible charecterization and plot.  
  
"Hey, you guys still awake?" Ranma Saotome walked in, dressed in a robe and slippers. He was yawning and holding a plushie that was shaped like a panda.  
  
Vegeta snarled angrily at the pigtailed martial artist. "You were sleeping while we were paging you all night? Get to work, slacker!"  
  
"I'm just the Martial Arts Professor, not a paperworker," Ranma defended himself smugly as he plopped down next to Lina who gave him a death glare.  
  
"A stupid one at that," Tyson remarked, fingering his beyblade and glaring at him. "Why can't you take these lessons seriously?"  
  
"Feh, not my fault that these guys are pathetic," Ranma said, waving it off.  
  
"Thats it! You and me, right here, right now!" Vegeta had slid his chair out, and was literally crackling with electricity.  
  
"Bring it on!" Ranma exclaimed, throwing his robe off and stancing. His aura flared into existance, a candle against an inferno next to the angry Saiyan.  
  
Shaun cleared his throat softly, and muttered, "I'll dunk you both in Urple and Glowrange if you two don't calm down."  
  
The twin auras faded out of existance as the pair sat down, casting glares at the professor who merely sipped at his apple cider.  
  
Sakura yawned. "I don't know about all of you, but I have a class to teach tommorow morning."  
  
"Magical Girls 101?" Vincent asked Sakura who nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Good night everyone." Yawning, Sakura headed out of the common room for her nice warm bed.  
  
One by one, the staff members filed to bed until Lina and Shaun sat, finishing up the last of the paperwork. Stiffling a tremendous yawn, Lina looked over at the MUSM graduate and asked, "So.... you ready for tommorow?"  
  
"I don't feel ready at all," Shaun admitted. "Oh well. It's time to face the music and see if we can make AFU a sucess."  
  
Lina nodded. "Well, don't work yourself into the ground. It's only the first week of the school term. But I'm beat. Night." Gathering up her cape, she headed out, leaving him to his work.  
  
===============  
  
A resounding explosion rolled through the University as Zone snapped awake. "Earthquake!"  
"No it ain't," Leena, her roommate said, reaching for her alarm clock. "That's my alarm."  
  
Zone groaned and flopped back onto bed. "What time is it?"  
  
"Twenty after seven o'clock," Leena said, pulling on a robe and grabbing a towel. "I'm going for my shower."  
  
Zone muttered something half coherant as the red head skipped out of the room merrily. Fifteen minutes later, a resoundingly loud gong-like sound cut into her sleep addled mind. Grumbling, she turned over. Another one, this one closer, with the chipper call of "Get up, get up!" was heard.  
  
A third gong sound resonated in her eardrums as a perky voice cried, "Get up! NOW!"  
  
Zone jerked out of bed, looking around wildly. "Who, what, where?"  
  
"Amelia De Seyruun, and I am ringing a gong to get you all up." The response came from a very short girl, about sixteen years of age, dressed in white and pink in a most cute manner. She was also holding a tremendous sized gong with one hand and a worn drumstick in the other.  
  
"Now up people! First classes start today!"  
  
Later that morning, during breakfast, Zone peered at her schedule. Magical Girls 101, Canon 101, Fighting 101, Crossover 101, Duelist 101. Looking over at Leena who looked a bit bleary, asked, "What did you sign up for?"  
  
"Canon 101, Pet Monster Handling 101, Meddling With Giant Mechas 101, Swords and Various Pointy Objects 101 and Duelist 101."  
  
Zone pouted. "We're only going to be in two classes together."  
  
Leena bolted down her coffee and let out a breath. "Well, I'm headed to class. You have the Canon 101 book list?" "You mean the book you need a forklift to carry? All You Need To Know About Canon?"  
  
"Yeah. Well, lets get to it, Canon 101 is first thing this morning."  
  
The hallways were as usual, crowded with students. Entering the room, there were quite a few people already there. Sitting down beside a boy, Zone sighed and tried to heave her Canon 101 book on the table. "Need help?" he asked.  
  
"Sure." Together, the pair heaved the books onto the table. "Chris," he introduced himself. "Just call me Ryu Izumi if you want."  
  
"Zone." She looked at him. "What did YOU write?"  
  
"Odyssey of Ryu amidst other things. You?"  
  
"Sailor Moon meets the Horny Tentacled Beasts," Zone replied.  
  
Chris, being in an anime styled world, actually sweatdropped. "Um, okay."  
  
"Don't mind her," Leena said. "Leena. I wrote a Self Insert making myself a Goddess in the AMG world and placed myself in the Leena of Chrono Cross."  
  
"That seems serious," remarked a hedgehog that sat beside Chris. "Ashura Hedgehog." "I know you!" Leena gasped. "You wrote all those MSTs and the Sonic Muyo series!"  
  
Ashura grinned. "I'm glad someone reads my stuff."  
  
Another guy who sat next to the pair looked at them. "Discussing fanfiction? Kyle Evanick. I write for Diaries and a few other series." Zone peered at him. "Most of your stuff is Author fanfic, right? I read PR Hyperstrike. How's that coming along?"  
  
Kyle nodded and shrugged. "Well, it's coming along. Hey," he said to another girl who sat near them. "What did you write?"  
  
"A few things here and there," she replied. "Misha."  
  
"Hey, you're on the DR board, right?" Chris asked.  
  
She nodded. "freakishAngelGal."  
  
Just then, the professor strode into the room. It was Shaun, accompanied by a small hunched over thing with long arms, horns, wings and looked like it had rolled in lava. He was also carrying the biggest stick known to man. Turning towards them, he sent a look that chilled everyone. "Okay people, this is Canon 101. What we're here today for is maintaining the canon continuity. This means that we deal with the original story, and everything that comes with it. This," he said, holding out the huge stick, "Is the Beating Stick of Canon. It's here to ensure the Canon stays normal. This," he said, gesturing to the thing that stood beside him, glaring at the students, "Is Arragon, one of the Mini-Balrogs rom my days attending MUSM and is the head guard for the staff section. Any questions so far?"  
  
One hand went up, belonging to a girl that looked like a half dragon. "Is it true that you painted Sauron's bum Urple while in MUSM?"  
  
"Actually no, that was Merry and Pippin," Shaun said. "And that was during the FIRST year. I didn't attend two years in Middle-earth. Now, if there are no more questions, we will start today with timelines."  
  
Reaching up, he hooked a huge rolling map with the end of the Beating Stick of Canon and pulled it down, revealing several dozen timelines all mixed together or seperated. "Now, we will start with the Dragonball Timeline. Now, there are three documented eras in the Dragonball timeline, as we all know. Dragonball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT."  
  
"Boring!" Ashura called out. A second later, the Beating Stick of Canon came down on his head as Shaun cleared his throat.  
  
"Another outburst like that, Ashura and you will be dunked in Glowrange and strung up on the Vamde-tree as a pinata for the Clones to play with." Shaun warned. "Now, we'll start off with the names of the major charecters. Gentlemen, if you will?"  
  
Five men marched into the rooms, one after another. "Goku. G-o-k-u. No two u's on the last part of the name," Goku said.  
  
"Vegeta, not Vegita or even Veggie-chan." Vegeta looked like he was ready to kill with that last name.  
  
"But Veggie-chan is such a cute name!" gushed a girl from the far back. A moment later, she was lying on her back, twitching from the Big Bang Attack by one irate Prince.  
  
"I WOULD NEVER LET MYSELF BE CALLED VEGGIE!" Vegeta raged. "Except by the woman of course...." he added as an afterthought.  
  
"Next?" Shaun asked, leaning on the staff as Vegeta cooled off a bit.  
  
"Piccolo. I'm sure everyone can get that one right." Piccolo folded his arms.  
  
"Mirai Trunks." The elder future Trunks flipped his long hair back and glared at them. "Better get that right or else."  
  
"And lastly, it's Mr. Satan. I am NOT NAMED HERCULE!" Satan growled. "Hercule is just the dub name for me, and it's stupid!"  
  
Izumi leaned over to Ashura and muttered, "Hercule looks like a pansy. Wanna try him out?"  
  
"I heard that, Mr. Izumi," Shaun put in before Ashura could reply. "That's strike one and a half. I think we need to see what an Super Saiyan Author would be able to do against even Mr. Satan, a canon charecter. Gentlemen, commence the beating."  
  
Sounds of incredible violence could be heard in the background as Mr. Satan and Mirai Trunks leapt into the fray. Goku and Vegita took about two seconds before launching themselves into the free for all. Piccolo just stood by and slipped Arragon a few slices of bacon. Chuckling to himself, Shaun cleared his throat and called out, "Tommorow we tackle the names of Digimon charecters and five more Dragonball Z charecters. Dismissed!"  
  
Zone gathered up her books and winced as Mr. Satan actually left a broken mass of bones. "Yeek. You need help there, Izumi?"  
  
"I'll live," Izumi groaned from the floor. "Senzu...."  
  
Misha grimaced at the broken form. "Hard to believe that Mr. Satan could do something like that. I'll drag you to the infirmary."  
  
Leena looked nervous. "I didn't realize that the staff would deliver out random beatings." "We're from a super powered series," Piccolo rumbled. "Go figure. Now scoot; you have more classes to get to." 


End file.
